Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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