she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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