You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
