thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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