That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
