Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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