i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
