She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Im just a social blackout drinker.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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