The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
