Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
