Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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