I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
