bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
