At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
