he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
