Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
