The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
