talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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