this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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