I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
