I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
