Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
