Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
