Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
