I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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