yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
