we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
