Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
