last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
