I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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