Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
