Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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