Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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