Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
