Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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