I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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