Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
