my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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