You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
