i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
