I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
