why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
