Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
