The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
