Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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