in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Holy sore nipples Batman
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