and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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