so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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