Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
