If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
