His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
